Sunday, September 27, 2009

Some quotes from Catch-22

Some of the funniest and paradoxical quotes I have ever heard are from Catch-22(Not that I have read many books, frankly). A few of these keep repeating throughout the book making it funny without being monotonous. Though the book gets repetitive and monotonous sometimes, but that's something different.
Just listing down some of the quotes from the book. A complete list can be found on these links.

http://en.wikiquote.org/wiki/Catch-22
http://www.generationterrorists.com/quotes/catch-22.shtml
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Catch-22
http://www.workinghumor.com/quotes/catch22.shtml

  • Some men are born mediocre, some men achieve mediocrity, and some men have mediocrity thrust upon them. With Major Major it had been all three.
  • There's no patriotism, that's what it is. And no matriotism, either.
  • But I make a profit of three and a quarter cents an egg by selling them for four and a quarter cents an egg to the people in Malta I buy them from for seven cents an egg. Of course, I don't make the profit. The syndicate makes the profit. And everybody has a share.
  • Dear Mrs., Mr., Miss, or Mr. And Mrs. Daneeka: Words cannot express the deep personal grief I experienced when your husband, son, father, or brother was killed, wounded, or reported missing in action.
  • Yossarian, they can prepare as many official reports as they want and choose whichever ones they need on any given occasion. Didn't you know that?
  • Doc Daneeka was Yossarian's friend and would do just about nothing in his power to help him.
  • The case against Clevinger was open and shut. The only thing missing was something to charge him with.
  • "They're trying to kill me," Yossarian told him calmly.
     "No one's trying to kill you," Clevinger cried.
     "Then why are they shooting at me?" Yossarian asked.
     "They're shooting at everyone," Clevinger answered.  "They're trying to kill everyone."
     "And what difference does that make?"
  • The country was in peril; he was jeopardizing his traditional rights of freedom and independence by daring to exercise them.
  • The Texan turned out to be good-natured, generous and likable. In three days no one could stand him.
  • He had decided to live forever or die in the attempt.
  • How can he see he's got flies in his eyes if he's got flies in his eyes ?
  • Yossarian owed his good health to exercise, fresh air, teamwork and good sportsmanship; it was to get away from them all that he had first discovered the hospital.
  • Anything worth dying for, is certainly worth living for.
  • Of course they had a right (to lie to you). Don't be such an ass, Scheisskopf. People have a right to do anything that's not forbidden by law, and there's no law against lying to you.
  • It's better to live on one's feet than to die on one's knees.

Friday, September 25, 2009

When do you become uncle ?

When you say something about someone like oh that person is an old guy, or call someone an 'uncle' types or 'aunty' types, what makes you feel or say it ? Is it only their looks ? or their clothes ? A common answer 
would be the way they carry themselves. Now by carrying themselves in a certain way may mean a lot of things here. Things that sometimes other people say or do makes you feel that person is an old guy or an 'uncle' types. Even those people are not aged as such, but it’s just that their mannerisms, their way of talking, their knowledge of certain things which I am totally unaware of( and hence makes me think, ok he's been there n done that, which implies he's an experienced person, which implies he is uncle !). Or even the lack of knowledge of most common things contributes to the stamp of being an uncle.
Try remembering your colleges days or think of all your colleagues one by one. Invariably there are or were at least a few people who we felt were uncle types. Again, they are not very old; but there was something about their behavior that made us feel so about them. For some it was their looks, for others may be it was clothes, for some others may be their way of talking and attitude to things. Or sometimes it was their maturity that I mistook for this uncleness. In college, people who had moustaches were uncles for me, as were people who always wore plain shirts, or those who never wore jeans automatically qualified as uncles. Or people who didn’t take as much interest in girls as much as we did, or who did not understand non veg jokes, or who were not all that interested in watching porn! Of course these rules had exceptions too. Sometimes I mistook geekyness of some people for uncleness. Sometimes they didn't do anything crazy or silly or stupid ever hence becoming uncles. Another thing was that I looked for criteria as the absence of only those things that I did myself. All the  above mentioned things I enjoyed wholeheartedly. So people who didn’t enjoy what I enjoyed became uncles. I know all these are silly definitions but that’s what I thought back then. I was being utterly stupid and demeaning and selfish by thinking on these lines. And later on when I got to know some of them it became clear that they were the most enthusiastic, funny and crazy people I have ever known. How deceptive first impressions can be. And how silly was I to judge people by their appearances.
Also it could be that while I was busy in making my own definitions for uncleness, some other person was interpreting me as an uncle because I didn't enjoy some 'hip' stuff that a few others did. Like I didn't ( and still don't) listen to rock music. Or any English music for that matter. I didn't start read english books till about 3rd year of college and the first English novel that I read was some nonsense Sydney Sheldon book, which took me about 4 months to finish.
Then came the job after graduation. Once job started, all the definitions changed. I was in Bangalore at the start of my job, and south is the place where moustache is the symbol for masculinity. You don’t have it, you are not man enough. Even people wearing the hippest clothes and sitting in the plushest restaurants and pubs seemed to have it. Ok, I thought, may be my perception was wrong. People with moustaches CAN be young too. Other thing that started to crop up in my mind about uncleness was that of marriage. People who were married became big time uncles. That’s because marriage equaled Too-much-responsibility equaled Loss-of-freedom equaled Fixed-routine equaled Always-worrying-abut-saving-money-for-future equaled No-Lukhhagiri equaled No-time-for-friends equaled No-roaming-out-late-at-nights. And if this was the case for married lot; people with kids, howsoever small they may be, were even bigger uncles. Again, there were bound to be exceptions to these rules because some of my most wonderful and funny and childish colleagues are happily married and have kids too. Other definitions were people who worked too hard for their jobs, or people who did not watch latest movies or who didn’t listen to latest music. Or people who said they prefer watching old movies or listening to old songs, but actually enjoyed watching those crap movies of the late 80's. I have a colleague who says his favourite movie is Govinda starrer 'Hatya' that came in 1987 ! And that nowadays movies aren't that good anymore. I would have still understood if he had said QSQT or JJWS or some crap Salman or SRK movie. Now will you still blame me if I call him uncle ?
Most of these definitions have now changed too. Nowadays I often wonder if I have become an uncle. Coz all these definitions directly or indirectly apply to me now.
Looks have definitely changed, including addition of a paunch-> does this contribute to being uncle ?
Can't-stay-awake-till-late-night-otherwise-it-will-be-late-for-office-tomorrow -> does this contribute to being uncle ?
Have to wear formal clothes for most of the week which I hated the most in beginning but now have gotten used to-> does this contribute to being uncle ?
Have to think twice before taking stairs instead of lift -> does this contribute to being uncle ?
Can identify only orkut, no facebook and forget about twitter -> does this contribute to being uncle ?
Cannot recognize the singers and the movie when listening to new songs -> does this contribute to being uncle ?
Have stopped remembering new records in cricket and old ones being broken -> does this contribute to being uncle ?

I still don’t have answer.